These are my thoughts on NostalgiaCritic's video, which are a bit too long to fit in a comment. I think that Critic kind of got to the right answer by the end, but there were some stops on the way that didn’t quite match up to my experience

                First of all, power vs. vulnerability. Yes, power and confidence are attractive, but they only carry you so far. Relationships, attractions, even sex are all about vulnerability. I know a lot of people compare Loki to Thor, but let’s look at the other Avengers. Every one of them is very vulnerable and broken (Except Thor). Steve is way out of his element and desperately missing those he left behind, Bruce is always on the edge, always scared, Tony is…Tony and Clint is fighting with frikking arrows/being mind-controlled for half the film. I mean, heck, I fell in love with Black Widow in her opening scene not so much because she beat up all of those guys (although that was super cool) but because her damsel (Clint) was in distress. Somebody had found her vulnerability. That vulnerability is not really there with Thor, except in fish-out-of-water moments, but Loki has it in spades.

                That vulnerability is what makes these characters relatable and interesting. For a lot of women, I think that it also helps produce a power balance and yes, inspires nurturing aspects (although Critic, you didn’t need to be so condescending about it.) The logic of “If I can heal him he’ll thank me and love me forever” is also problematic. First of all, it doesn’t really explain why the person wants his love to begin with. Second…There are plenty of women who like fantasizing about a domineering man staying that way. Look at 50 Shades of Grey or the romance section of the bookstore, or heck, even Beauty and the Beast. I don’t really know why this is, but I’m sure there’s plenty of research on it. Fantasies are a place where someone has complete control, and some people like to imagine being powerless. Let’s be honest, if Avengers-era Loki was coming towards me IRL I would scream and run. I don’t want to die. But this isn’t about realism; this is about some very specific emotions.

Vulnerability helps to keep a powerful person in check. It basically triggers compassion for him and means that he’s not just a scary monster, but a person. This gives an illusion of power for women who may be used to feeling very vulnerable. Culturally, women aren’t expected to be able to physically fight back, which means that the emotional realm, traditionally labelled “womanly,” is where they have to make their battlefield.

                Also, a quick note on the whole “he’s not that good looking” thing. I hear this all the time. First of all, remember that tastes vary, and that strapping, musclebound men aren’t necessarily that attractive. Sleekness and litheness are also attractive, and for some a lot less threatening, again bringing in that whole power thing again. Also, some things are just hard to translate across gender/sexual orientations. I don’t get why men find enormous, video-game balloon boobs attractive, but apparently enough do that manufacturers and ads continue to use them. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that being attractive, I just don’t get it.